Catastrophe
by AnnabethSaysHi
Summary: Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger are forced to work together in the Ministry. Things get . . . well, a little heated. Rated M (contains lemons). One-shot.


**Hello readers! This is my first lemon, so I would enjoy some feedback. I'm not sure if they are entirely in character, but . . . I tried. Okay? Okay.**

**Summary: Hermione and Draco are forced to work together at the Ministry, and they drive each other completely crazy. Warning: Massive plot-holes. Rated M for mature content. One-shot Dramione. No romance, mostly sex.**

It was hot.

Really hot.

The air-conditioning broke down, but no one was called forward to fix it, and nobody casted a Cooling Charm in Draco Malfoy's room. He could've done it himself, of course, but seeing Hermione Granger's hair stick to her neck and her teeth gnashing in frustration might've diverted his attention from the temperature.

"For the _last time_, Malfoy," she hissed. "Will you please just sign those stupid documents so we can leave and go home?" She pointed furiously at the stack of papers on his desk.

"I said _no_, Granger," snapped Draco, equally irritable. Seriously, whoever put them two in the same department must have a sick sense of humor. "Your senseless plan for curing the _maculata_ is going to get us all sued! Why the hell would you mix Pepperup Potion with two infusions of Fluxgrass Draught of Aconite? Do you _know_ how rare it is to get your hands on a proper batch of cowbane essence these days?"

"I would do whatever it takes to complete the job and get away from you!" snapped Hermione. The two glared at each other angrily.

It was six years after the war, six years after Voldemort's death. Things had improved greatly, even if Hermione and Ron's relationship did go downhill.

Ronald was truly a good person. However, he wasn't very steady after the war and often missed Fred and Lavender. He also really wanted the elder wand, and looked everywhere for it, despite Harry's warnings. (Luckily, Ron didn't manage to track it down.) He neglected his girlfriend until four months later, Hermione called him over and told him that they were separating. She had told Ron that she would still be his friend, but the two just weren't meant for each other. Ron was devastated, but he got over it by marrying Gabrielle two years later (much to Ginny's chagrin). Hermione was surprised, but she was pleased for the new Weasleys.

Hermione also was the youngest member of the Senior Support Staff and was well on her way to being Minister of Magic. Many wizards and witches respected the 23-year-old, although Draco Malfoy was an exception. The two would often argue and bicker, which usually resulted in shouting matches and office referrals.

Most of the people working at the Ministry were used to their constant quarrels and learned to not get in their way. But today was a particularly loud day, especially for the Unspeakables working right below them.

"You can't buy illegal ingredients just because you want to get away from _me_!" Draco shouted.

"Yes, I can!"

"No, you can't! I'll report you!"

"NO, YOU WILL NOT! I AM UPHOLDING A HIGHER POSITION THAN YOU, YOU DUNDERHEAD!"

"OH YEAH? TRY ME!"

"JUST SIGN THE BLOODY PAPERS, YOU IDIOT!"

"I'm going to tell you one last time. COWBANE ESSENCE MIXED WITH ACONITE IS A BANNED SUBSTANCE AND MAY RESULT IN PAINFUL CONSEQUENCES!"

"WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS?! KINGSLEY ALLOWED ME TO BUY IT, AS LONG AS I HAVE YOUR AUTHORITY!"

"KINGSLEY IS AN IDIOT! AND SO ARE YOU!"

"HI AND I ARE NOT AND WHY DON'T YOU BLOODY _SIGN IT!"_

"I WILL OVER MY DEAD BODY, GRANGER!"

The two paused in their argument to catch breath. Then they continued like nothing happened, after all, this happened pretty much daily.

Hermione growled. "Since when do _you_ follow the rules, Death Eater Junior?"

"Since when do _you_ break the rules, you filthy little mudblood?" snarled Draco.

Silence.

Very tensed silence.

Draco counted thirteen seconds.

Hermione raised a fist to punch him, but he – bless his Quidditch instincts – caught it just in time. He stared down at her, his grey eyes almost completely black. Hermione's nostrils flared, and she aimed a hard kick at his crotch.

Draco hissed as he fell down, but he didn't loosen his grip on Hermione's hand. The two landed on the ground with a loud _splat_, Hermione's face on his sweaty chest, her knee pressing an area that was dangerously close to his cock. Draco had a clean view down her white button-down shirt, and it wasn't a bad one, either.

"Fuck you, Malfoy," she said, lifting her face up at his pained expression. She lifted her other hand to slap him again, but Draco suddenly grabbed her waist and twisted, slamming her on the ground with him on top this time. He had an idea, and his lower region seemed to agree.

"Fuck you too, Granger," he said, before ripping open her shirt. Slamming his face into her breasts, his hand quickly snuck behind her back and unclasped her bra. He noticed that the bra was green and smirked.

"What the _fuck, _Mal –" shrieked Hermione, but it trailed off to a moan, when Draco started sucking and biting her left boob. She feebly tried to push him off, but he was too heavy. "_Stop it_, now!"

"Look at me, Granger," Malfoy growled. His hand briefly left Hermione's back to grab her chin roughly, and he grinded his crotch into her middle region. They both moaned. She started to move, using her other free hand to grab Draco's face and pull it towards hers and then she –

_SLAP!_

Hard.

"What the fuck?" Draco groaned, cradling his bright red cheek.

"You deserve it, you little bitch," snarled Hermione. She turned to leave, but Draco recovered and tackled her. Hermione tried to kick him again, but she missed, which only resulted in her shirt completely ripped off (_ahem _Draco _ahem_) and a very proud smirk from Draco.

"I love it when you talk dirty to me," he whispered in Hermione's ear.

She shrieked in frustration and tried to push him off again, but he wasn't having it anymore.

_SLAP!_

Hard.

"_WHAT THE FUCK_?!" shouted Hermione, cradling her bright red cheek.

"You _deserve_ it, you little bitch," snarled Draco.

Neither of them seemed to realize the reciprocated events.

Draco pounced on her again, and this time he was intent on getting what he wanted, which was to pop the cherry. Hermione groaned in frustration and pain when he latched back onto her left breast. His hands were everywhere – on her hips, her waist, her right breast, even the back of her left gluteus maximus (though how he got there, she had no idea).

During these recent events, her knickers somehow got removed, and when she blinked open one eye, they were sprawled on top of the desk, on top of the papers she was trying to get him to sign.

"_You sneaky little brat_," she mumbled, and Draco chuckled as he removed his mouth from her chest with a sticky _pop_.

Then he waited.

Hermione glared at him. "What?"

Draco looked at her and smirked. "Take a look at yourself."

Hermione obeyed. She looked at her boobs, and then let out a furious gasp. Her entire left breast was promptly the shade of a ripe pomegranate! That's right, Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Extraordinaire, and Her Very Hated Enemy, has just managed to give her a hickey that covered one of her entire boobs. Insert clapping noises here.

Hermione had never hated the blonde-haired boy so much.

"Okay, this _has _to stop. First of all, this is highly inappropriate," she declared. "Not only this is a forced sexual intercourse between two workers, but now you have given me a _hickey_ which is literal _proof_ that you are a rapist! Just wait till Kingsley hears about this! You'll be wishing you were dead."

"And _why_ would you be showing the Minister your boobs?" said Draco. "Don't tell me you're fucking him too, Granger."

The two glared at each other in taut silence. Then – she really couldn't help it – Hermione said, "Actually, I'm fucking _you_, you hideous mountain troll," and that broke the tension again.

Draco grabbed her roughly and spun her around to face him. Then he grabbed her face with his mouth viciously and proceeded to make out very messily, while Hermione's hands snuck under his white shirt and roamed his sweaty torso freely.

(AN: Please notice that I did not use the word _kiss_ describing their actions. I believe kissing should be slow and gentle, while our very unrealistic Hermione and Draco is fighting each other with their faces.)

She groaned when one of hands snuck down to her chest and gently tweaked a nipple before pinching it really hard. She raised a hand to slap him – because it bloody _hurt _– but he quickly soothed it with with his tongue, while his hand snuck under her skirt.

Hermione moaned loudly again as he stroked her clit slowly and sensually. Encouraged by the sound, Draco sucked her right boob harder while slowly swirling his fingers around her thingy. (AN: Sorry, I don't know any female genital words besides _clit, vagina, and cherry_. None of them sound right in the sentence.)

When he felt she was wet enough, he inserted two fingers inside and started pumping.

(Another AN: I am cringing right now. This feels like a sin.)

Right before she was about to orgasm, Draco pulled out and took several steps back. Hermione eyed him angrily, legs trembling. "You little b –" her sentence trailed off when she caught sight of him taking off his shirt. Draco tossed the shirt to the side and unbuckled his belt, Hermione ogled his toned torso with astonishment and more than a bit lust. She exhaled softly.

The author shall now describe his body vividly by telling the reader to search up Taylor Lautner shirtless on Google. (In real life Draco looks nothing like him, thankfully.)

Draco raised an eyebrow at Hermione, now unzipping his trousers. Hermione stared back breathlessly. Gosh, she had been going to school for six years with this hottie and she never noticed his pectorals _or_ abdominals?

"What?" she cringed at how breathy her voice sounded.

Draco looked at her chest. With a sickening feeling, she looked down to, and gasped again. Her right breast was promptly the shade of a red ripe tomato! That's right, Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Extraordinaire, and Her Very Hated Enemy, has just managed to give her hickeys that covered _both_ of her boobs. Insert clapping noises here.

"I friggin hate you," said Hermione.

Draco smiled sweetly. "The feeling is mutual, baby."

Then she jumped off the desk – a little wobbly, mind you – and walked towards him lasciviously. Without pausing to stare at him, she dropped down to her knees and pulled down his trousers ferociously. Then she held his throbbing erection gently in her hands, stroking it.

"Wow," said Hermione, suddenly feeling very dirty.

"What?" moaned Draco.

"I did _not _expect Mr. Draco Junior to be this big."

Then – as if it was listening – his penis swelled even more, like it was beaming with pride.

_**(AN: Sorry, I really really really need a break. Seriously, there has to be something wrong with me. A PENIS BEAMING WITH PRIDE?!)**_

Hermione gently licked the head of it, already slick with precum. Then she tilted her head slightly to the side, as if judging its taste. Draco sighed.

"Nah," she decided. "You don't deserve it."

"Hey!" protested Draco. But he didn't really mind. He was never fond of blow-jobs anyway – coming while the other person is gagging, it's not really his thing, y'know? He may be Slytherin, but he's not entirely selfish, either.

Hermione dragged herself up and sashayed back to the desk, swinging her hips. Then, just to make make Draco smirk, she swept her arm and pushed the stack of papers off the desk before jumping on the desk. Hermione licked her lips as he walked forward, Mini Draco bouncing in delight (proof of my insanity).

"I'm going to have you screaming," he purred in her ear. "And I'm also going to make you beg for it, you naughty little Mudblood."

Then, they started to face battle again.

The temperature was seriously high now, sweat was dripping from both of their backs. Hermione spread her legs and pulled Draco's moist hips towards her middle region, rubbing Mini Draco against the thin fabric of the black skirt. They (both Dracos and Hermione) purred with delight. Hermione was practically dripping down there.

"Fuck me," she growled.

"No," growled Big Draco. It took all his self-control to pull away. "Beg for it, you slut."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Just fuck me already!"

Big Draco smirked. Mini Draco whined.

Insert one minute of tensed silence right here.

Then:

"Alright! Alright! I'll beg."

Both Dracos waited impatiently.

Hermione's shoulders stiffened. "_Please_ fuck me."

"There we go!" Both Dracos practically cooed. He ripped off the skirt and slammed Hermione on the table. Then he pushed inside slowly.

He clenched his eyes shut, and she moaned with delight. After the first careful thrust, the haste rushed back to him, and the second third and fourth drives had been hard and fast and deep. They went back to frantic and chaotic instinct after that. Draco smashed his hips into Hermione's pelvis so hard, she would've had trouble sitting down for days afterwards.

The sounds of their rough fucking and moans combined with the intolerable heat was more than enough to drive the wizards and witches below their office completely crazy.

"_Shut your pie-holes!"_ shouted one very ticked off witch.

"_Cast a Silencing Spell, for Merlin's sake!"_ Blaise Zabini hollered.

"_Go suck each other somewhere else, for the sake of Salazar's chest hair!"_ Another witch (Padma Patil) shrieked.

"Hermione? Is that you?" Harry's voice floated through the floor.

"NO!" snapped Hermione as Draco quickly casted a Silencing Charm. The yelling and hollering immediately ceased. Draco thrusted harder. Hermione's legs were trembling so hard, it was rocking the desk.

Just before she was about orgasm, Draco pulled out.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" hissed Hermione. She was so close, and very very pissed. "I even begged!"

"Lie down on the desk with your ass facing me," said Draco hoarsely.

Hermione obeyed, still glaring at him, but her anger quickly ebbed when Draco slowly slid entered her again, his cock still wet from her juices. They let out a moan as he pushed inside completely. He slowly pulled out almost all the way, and unhurriedly drove his cock inside again.

Hermione's pussy was swollen and dripping liquids on her and Draco's legs and onto the floor. The table was rocking back and forth again, this time very slowly. His cock was practically vibrating, and it was harder than it had ever been. His balls were also trembling, eager for release.

"Harder," said Hermione.

Draco withdrew once more, and then . . .

_Rammed _inside of her with renewed force. They both howled.

He was fucking her so hard, so fast, and so deeply, Hermione could barely take it. She screamed each time Draco's cock jabbed at her spot, which was approximately 90 times per minute. The table was also screaming, and papers were flying everywhere. Sweat covered their bodies, mixing with the liquids that was flowing at of them at a ridiculously quick pace. Hermione must've came at least three times the past ten minutes, and Draco was _very _near his peak.

After about thirty minutes of very rough fucking, he still slammed into at a pace which could be only called unrelenting, and then he stopped, his cock still buried deep in her folds. Hermione's legs were quaking and completely out of her control. Sweat beaded her entire face, and his entire body. Draco hissed.

Then his balls trembled, and his cum shot out of his erection so hard and so fast, both of them gasped. Hermione moaned loudly when his hot seed filled her up completely, squirting and filling in every corner of her. She let out a yelp when he ejaculated _another_ bout of white semen inside her, this time filling up everything and then she couldn't hold it all anymore, so the rest made their way to the ground.

Draco pushed inside her one last time, moaning. Hermione couldn't help it – she orgasmed _again_. Her cum mixed with his sperm until both of them were dripping with liquids.

"That was fucking fabulous, Granger."

"Right back at you, Malfoy."

They stayed like that for awhile, him on top of her with his rapidly softening dick still nestled in her folds, and both of them on top of the desk, the mess of papers and liquids (and clothes) on the floor waiting to be cleaned.

Then Hermione shouted, "Oh my god, _what the hell did we do_?!"

Draco smirked. "We fucked."

And then he flipped himself over again, turned Hermione around so that he could see her bouncing pink breasts, and started to thrust himself upwards into her.

Some statistics/stock takes:

Number of papers misplaced: approximately 43

Articles of clothing ruined: four

Number of times they orgasmed that night: 9 (Hermione) and 3 (Draco)

Number of wizard/witches' voices that were hoarse the next day: two (if you don't count the Unspeakables yelling at them downstairs)

Number of times Draco irritated Hermione: Approximately twenty times (that night)

Number of lectures Kingsley had to give both of them: four

Number of days it took to get the air-conditioning to be fixed: three and a half

Number of days Hermione was to be separated from Draco: thirty-one sodding days

Number of days it took Hermione to be able to sit on her bum properly again: eight

**So . . . How do you like it? It's a little weird, but please review and thanks for reading!**


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